Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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