I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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