I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize