just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize