Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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