I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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