Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize