I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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