But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
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Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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