Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
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your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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