This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize