Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize