you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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