she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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