Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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