The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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