Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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