New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize