..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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