Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
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I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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