all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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