I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
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the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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