i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize