Moan for me like Helen Keller
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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