Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize