oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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