His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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