I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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