these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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