a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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