we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
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Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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