You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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