I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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