UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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