Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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