maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize