glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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