You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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