I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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