i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
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I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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