everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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