he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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