Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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