Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize