Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize