Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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