Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
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He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
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Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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