This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
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