At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
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He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
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She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize