shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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