I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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