Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
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There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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